Touch - Haiku

A smooth soft caress,

Stroking my hair & my face.

I drift off to sleep.

The Other Woman - Haiku

This woman you see

In me, she is a stranger.

I’ve yet to meet her

Step - Haikus

Taking our first steps,
We anticipate a fall
With discovery


A roller coaster.
Fearing the unexpected.
What’s beyond the bend?

Reunited - Haikus

My heart skips a beat
Every time we chance to meet,
Even in passing.


Never Forgotten.
Lost love, sent from up above,
Was a precious gift.


Don’t turn love away.
This time I am here to stay.
I’m facing my fears.

Momentary Bliss - Haiku

Momentary bliss…

Lust eventually fades.

Love is forever.

Lost Opportunity - Haiku

The last chance was missed,

A lost opportunity.

Fate interrupted.

Innocent Lost - Haiku

For loss of a life,

The rain, as tears from heaven,

Falls for my sorrow.

3/15/00

Flame - Haikus

A faint flame flick’ring,

Growing, dancing, then soaring

In my lover’s eyes.

Embers are burning.

‘Til the fire’s out of control…

The heat of passion.

Clouds - Haiku

Clouds shift through the sky,
As my thoughts pass through my mind,
Rambling and Roaming.

Choices - Haikus

Ousted from safety.

Searching for cover and warmth

While out in the storm.

Guided by spirits,

Whether angels or devils.

I must make a choice.

Old oaks with no leaves.

They hold no shelter for me.

There’s nowhere to hide.

Mateless - Haiku

Single old scuffed shoe…

Left in the cluttered closet…

It’s mate…never found

Mute Dissentation - Haiku

I remain unheard.
No one hears my spoken words
Or mute dissention.

Love

Love can be so sacred,

So fresh,

Yet spoiled so easily.

It's there.

You have it within your reach.

You think you can grab it,

But don't blink!

It'll slip away.

It'll disappear before your eyes

As if it never was.

You'll be left lonely,

& Confused,

& Angry,

Wondering why it touched your life so briefly

And then left you to wither away.

Lost

Where are you?

You're lost in the crowd.

How can you find yourself among so many strange faces?

You're mind has strayed.

It's wandering aimlessly,

But your body is traveling to the same familiar places

That it's been time and time before.

Who are you?

You thought that you knew,

But day by day you lost a part of yourself.

Where has it gone?

Do you really want to find it?

Do you really want to be the person that you once were?

Or is it time to let her go?

Making Love

Sex is merely a mortal act.
What truly does it mean?
The melding of two bodies
Can be such a trivial thing,
But when you pass beyond that
And your souls entwine
There’s not quite a way to express
The pure joy you will find.

Moment

Late at night I find serenity in silence.

The even sound of his breath

Stills my restless spirit.

The blackness surrounds me,

And I am at peace with myself,

If only for a moment.

I treasure that moment.

In that moment, I have courage.

I can do anything.

I am strong.

I can, and I will overcome.

I am triumphant.

His body stirs as the sun begins to rise.

The silence is broken.

My serenity, only temporary,

Departs with the start of each new day.

Opression returns.

My strength abandons me,

But I know again the sun will fall.

Night will come

And bring with it silence and solitude,

And in that moment of solace,

I can, and I will overcome.

Finding victory, if only within my mind.

Lesson

One day you'll see

The mistakes that you've made.

One day you'll see

How you drove love away.

You'll be wounded.

Hurt and alone,

You'll cry out for help,

But no one will come.

They tried to share

What they'd learned from their lives.

You couldn't hear them.

You ignored their advise.

You spit in their faces

And called them all fools.

Why, then, when you call,

Should they come rescue you?

Oblivious

I look in your eyes.

But you're empty inside.

You’re searching for something

To fill the void.

The answers are obvious,

But, the questions? Long forgotten.

You've found happiness,

However temporary.

If you dull your senses,

You'll never feel the pain.

You believe in nothing.

It's easier that way.

Unmindful and unaccountable

For the afflictions you allocate.

Self-proclaimed amnesty.

You remain oblivious.

Last Dance

They say life’s a dance
You learn as you go.

One step…
Two step…
FALTER…
The last dance.

Reality

Preconcieved notions

of happiness & bliss.

Wish someone had warned me.

It's only a myth.

There's no one to be

by my side through the night.

There are no "Prince Charmings"

on stallions of white.

The dreams are still there,

but, hope, it is dead.

No visions of sugarplums

to dance in my head.

Reality replaced them

a long time before.

There's no one to help me

keep faith anymore.

Is It Me?

I want a man

Who loves me for me,

Not who he thinks I am

Or who he thinks I should be.

He says that he loves me,

But what does that mean ?

Does he love who I am

Or the woman he’s seeing ?

Reunited

The heavens sing.
Angels rejoice,
Because I’ve finally made the choice

To let love in.

My breath’s caught short.
My heart skips a beat
Every time we chance to meet,

Even in passing.

Never forgotten,
Our lost love,
It was sent from up above,

A precious gift.

We’ve missed out
On so many years
All because of misplaced fears.

I retreated.

Although, the past
I can’t undo,
I can offer up to you

My bleeding heart.

Please don’t turn 
My love away.
This time I am here to stay

Facing my fears.

Innocent Lost

A small heart beating,

A small life breathing,

A tiny soul within...

The rain, as tears from heaven,

Fall for my sorrow.

For loss of a life

God is mourning.

Lightening flashes

& lights up the sky

As He grieves.

Thunder rolls

As He stomps his feet

To show his anger

For the innocent lost.

Road

Traveling down this long, dark road of life,

Tragedy always seems to find us.

The black sky wraps itself around us,

Caressing our every move.

Traveling down this long, dark road of life,

Bad things come in threes,

But there's a 4-way stop ahead.

Where do we turn?

Traveling down this long, dark road of life,

Alone and afraid in the night,

A full, round moon in the sky,

The only thing to light our way.

Traveling down this long, dark road of life,

If we could only see the light of day,

The obstacles before us would be clear.

Everything would be okay.

In Your Arms

Safe and secure in
Your arms at night,
I don’t want to speak 
For fear that I might…
Spoil the moment.

Lying in bed,
Right by your side,
I don’t want to sleep
For fear that you might…
Be merely a dream.

With the rising sun 
Comes a new day.
I can see clearly
You’ll not fade away…
The spell goes unbroken.

Smothered

The walls climb & close in.

The room becomes smaller.

All 4 sides closing in tighter,

A fist grasping my breath.

Oppression of mind & spirit.

In Hiding

Silencing myself

To create eternal bliss

Is it worth the conflict I feel inside?

If I express myself

And show what's in my heart

There may be nowhere left to hide.

Step

The journey of life takes us

Through unexpected twists and turns.

Flipping through loops,

As if we were on a roller coaster,

We fear what may,

Or may not,

Be beyond the bend.

We trod forward,

As if we were babes

Taking our first steps,

Unsure of whether our legs will fail us.

Learning to walk again

As if we never had known,

We anticipate a fall

With each new discovery.

We must take a deep breath,

Close our eyes tightly,

And step our best foot forward.

(2000)

How Do We Know

How do we know 
Which steps we should take?
How do we know
When we’ve made a mistake?
Try as we may
To do the right thing
There’s always the chance
It may be backfiring 
There’s always the chance
It’ll blow up in our face.
Be that as it may, 
It’s a risk we must take.

Stronger

Cowering, like a whipped dog,

My tail's between my legs.

Nowhere to hide, but within myself,

From your anger and rage.

You told me who I was, and I accepted,

With no questions asked.

That woman lives within me no longer.

She's a vision of your past.

You tell me I have no choices.

I no longer believe that's true.

My self-image and self-worth

No longer depend on you.

You tell me that I'm yours,

You're entitled to me.

But I'm not a doll upon your shelf.

I'm not a piece of property.

I don't need you to catch me.

I don't feel like I'm going to fall.

I don't need you to hold me up.

Because I feel I'm standing tall.

I was given time to find myself,

Left alone with my thoughts far too long.

I've grown much stronger now.

I'm a woman of my own.

Flame

A faint flame,

Flickering,

Grows until

It’s Dancing 

& Soaring in 

My lover’s eyes.

The embers blaze 

Until the fire’s

Out of control.

I know,

As I reach,

I’ll be burnt

Yet I’m drawn

By its heat.

Totally enveloped,

Resistance broken.

I succumb.

(4/00)

The Other Woman

I don't know who you see when you look in my eyes.

It's a woman I've yet to meet.

Have I seen her passing by?

Would I know her on the street?

I suspect she's a stranger to me.

Stifled

There’s a feeling in your stomach
That you can’t quite ignore.
You don’t even know 
What you’re apprehensive for,
But, none the less,
You can’t stop the flutters.
When you try to speak,
There is nothing but stutters.
Unable to express 
How you feel and why,
You hold your face in your hands….
And cry.

Thorns

It’s dangerous territory

With thorns of pain.

Once you’ve touched it,

You’re never the same.

You see only pink petals 

Glistened with dew,

Though it’s afflictions 

Are not hidden from you.

Fallen

Euphoria...

Forgetting reality only temporarily.

Be cautious.

Take one step at a time,

So that you won't stumble.

The fall is too great.

It may destroy you.

Euphoria...

If you let it envelope you completely,

Take control,

You may never return.

You may start to stumble.

The fall is too great.

It may destroy you.

Euphoria...

Reality will come to you eventually.

You've fallen,

And now it's too late.

You've already stumbled.

The fall was too great.

It has destroyed you.

Touch

Late at night I crave his touch,

A smooth caress,

Ever so gently stroking my hair

& my face as I drift off to sleep.

Drawn

Magnetic pull...

Drawing me deeper 

Into the seemingly dark, dismal abyss.

Inexplicable attractions…

Irrational actions…

Is it love?

Is it hate?

Is it obsession?

Or is it fate?

Tug of War

Hurt...

Anger...

Relief...

Despondency...

Running rampid in my head,

Tearing viciously at my heart,

Each one fighting against the others.

Determined to win right from the start.

Pushed and pulled in all directions,

I continue to feel torn.

I just want it all to end,

This ruthless game of tug-of-war.

Door

Finality.

Closure.

The ending of a story.

That's all that I was looking for,

But what I've found could be much more.

If you dare, open the door…

And venture to take that step with me,

"Happily Ever After" could come to be.

Fantasia could become reality.

Twisted

Love is such a twisted game.

I took the risk and called your name.

It could tear my world apart,

But I can’t control what’s in my heart.

Rose - Bittersweet

You see a beautiful blooming rose,

Yet you have never smelled it's sweet aroma,

You’ve not noticed the dew drops on each petal,

Nor have you been stung by its thorns.

Unspoken Sin

It’s a dark little secret

That nobody knows,

Yet it’s nibbling and gnawing

And eating away at my soul.

I know I can’t tell

And what’s plaguing me

Is the thought that my spirit

Can’t truly be free

As long as I’m harboring

This secret within.

Over my head

Hangs this unspoken sin.

Cracked

This crack running down my side,

Seems slight as it can be,

Oh, but a nudge, I could break open wide,

So by its size don’t be deceived.

I truly am fragile; please handle with care.

Be ever so gentle with me,

Or, if you prefer, you can just leave me there.

Then there’s no risks, you see,

Of dropping or squeezing too tight.

There’d be no need to use stealth.

My crack would still remain slight.

As I gather dust upon the shelf.

Uphill Battle

Alone in a crowd,

Solitarily fighting an uphill battle,

The little engine could do it….

I remind myself.

“I think I can.

I think I can.

I think I can.”

The hill steadily steepens.

I falter.

Out of steam,

I surrender.

Clouds

Clouds shift through the sky

As thoughts pass through my mind,

Hazy gray,

Going nowhere,

Rambling and roaming

Wherever their paths may take them.

Meek and somber

As the day that's passed before them.

Wasted Breath

My lips are pursed.

The storms are brewing.

I feel contempt

For things that others

Deem acceptable.

If I open my mouth

To express myself,

All hell will break loose.

Is it worth the turmoil

And heartache

For only a few minutes gratification?

Nothing I say

Will make a change.

My breath is spent,

Yet it is wasted.

As precious as breath can be

Who gave me the right to throw it away?

Choices

Ousted from safety

Into the storm,

I search for a place

To be covered and warm.

From two paths I must choose

The best of two evils

Guided by spirits,

Whether angels or devils.

To my right...

Luscious full pines,

But upon first glance,

Deception was mine

The wind blew,

And the snow hailed.

Beneath the drifts,

My death may avail.

To my left...

Barren branches I see.

The ol' oaks with no leaves

Hold no shelter for me.

Where do I run to?

My right or my left?

How can I be certain

Which way would be best?

It can't be foreseen.

There's no way to know.

I’ll need to take a chance,

Make a choice, and go...

(3/00)

Stalemate

“There is no me

In T-E-A-M”,

Yet I’m alone,

It seems.

No one here

To play this game;

No one here

To share the blame.

Is it a

Win?

Lose?

Or Draw?

Chance

A soft touch.

A knowing glance.

Could these things happen

Just by chance?

Could it be

It’s Destiny?

Or merely

Just coincidence?

Betrayal

I've no idea why

I react as I do.

I give in

Time and time again.

I look back

With regret.

Self betrayal

Is the name

Of the game

I play.

I make myself

promises.

I'm gonna take.

Selfish wishes

Again forgotten.

They cry out.

I answer.

My desires

Left behind,

Long since forgotten.

Until I look back

And see, again,

I've given in.

Attributes of Addiction

Relaxation

Anxiety

Socialization

Solitude

Enjoyment

Misery

Interest

Obsession

Luxury

Necessity

Casual

Avid

Serenity

Conflict

Companionship

Loneliness

Using

Abusing

Change

A dormant cocoon,

Wrapped tightly,

Ugly and stagnant,

Is never a prelude

For what is to come.

It flutters inside.

A beautiful metamorphosis.

It breaks free,

Full of color and vibrance.

It flies away

To catch the eye

Of it's next beholder.

(Millinium/2000)

Wind

The bitter winds bite my soul and my spirit, and yet...

I crave it.

I yearn for it.

It nips at my nose

In the cold of winter, but...

I never forget how it felt

Blowing across my face

On a hot summer day,

Whispering through my hair,

Making me quiver and tremble

Like I've never before, and yet...

I fear that winter will rear its ugly head

And strike again.

(Memories of Tomorrow/2000)